The Goose, the Gander, and Green Bay

“Swamp” is perhaps the most-familiar metaphor for the national capital city, where so much power—existing and desired, institutional and personal—resides. As part of “draining it,” some conservatives have suggested that a federal-government department and agency or two be relocated from Washington, D.C., to elsewhere. Geographic diffusion of the power, the thinking goes, might change the way in which it’s so overbearingly and sometimes arrogantly exercised. The resulting less physical distance from, and more awareness of and responsiveness to, everyday Americans in the heartland would be beneficial.

When I worked for him on the program staff of Milwaukee’s Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation, my boss and mentor Dan Schmidt—now a Giving Review co-editor—had another, genteel metaphor, I can report now. He’d use it regularly, following a meeting we’d have with officials of a Washington think tank or other D.C.-based nonprofit that Bradley either already supported or was being asked to fund.

“Versailles,” he’d say. They’re from Versailles, or at least acted that way. It was more than a half-joke. They had an air about them, self-consciously.

Depending on how the meeting went, the native Milwaukeean and Marquette University history Ph.D. would often get more descriptive, and a little less polite. If there was some puffery about the important role being played by the official, and there often was …; if there were self-flattering comparisons to others’ lesser roles, and there often were …; if there were implications of valuable connections with usually unnamed prominent policymakers or commentators, and there commonly were … Dan would add that they were basically just palace courtiers—pettily fighting with each other who would carry the bed pan into the prince’s chambers.

A decidedly different air, unself-consciously emitted.

Might conservative D.C. think thanks, other nonprofits, and activist organizations benefit as well from less distance between them and, and more awareness of and responsiveness to, the everyday’ers in the heartland? Isn’t what’s good for the “goose” of government good for the “gander” of these groups, too? There might have been less flat-footedness among them during and in the wake of 2016, among other things.

Let me just suggest Green Bay, Wis., for example. It’s a great place with nice people, and might be worth considering. It’s got industry, is easy to get to and from, and has affordable housing options. In addition to the successful football team, moreover, it has a superb symphony. Outdoor recreational opportunities abound, though more in Summertime. Climatologically, it’s not really even conducive to much swampiness.

It’s about 910 miles from Washington, D.C. And 4,040 from the Palace of Versailles.

This article first appeared in the Giving Review on December 16, 2024.